if you don't want to know the real answer...

don't ask me

if i am anything at all - and i am certain i am a great many things  - i am honest.

for instance;

once my friend got an expensive bottle of scotch as a gift from an uncle to celebrate his degree... 

he poured me a tiny bit in a glass, we toasted and drank...

and then he made the mistake of asking what i thought of the scotch. 

in hindsight i really think i should have been far more tactful but i never wanted to drink liquid vomit again in my life so i told him the truth; sorry jack, but i think this stuff tastes like vomit.

did i mean it tasted like vomit to everyone? obviously not.

did i mean i had to convince everyone who ever tried scotch to believe it tasted like vomit?  not at all.

i simply meant the scotch tasted like vomit to me.

in another century in my short life i was wine tasting.  i was not a big time wine taster nor was i familiar with many different types of wine and so i asked the server what he would recommend.   two of those recommended wines were awesome but the third one honestly tasted like ear wax and after i shuddered i said;
"this one tastes awful!" 

he was not offended that i didn't like it nor did he belittle me because i didn't personally like it.  he simply said; 'hmmmm.. this is one of our best sellers. maybe this bottle is off.' 

he then tasted it himself to be sure and said; 'nope. that's what it's supposed to taste like.  i guess you just really don't like it.' 

and we moved forward.

what i am saying here is; unless your honestly is being used as a brutal weapon designed to specifically hurt someone, i respect and expect it...

how else will you know what someone really thinks?

enter a webinar i recently attended that was preceded by participating an a private facebook help forum leading up to it...

at the end of it all, in my tiny brain, i was disappointed.  it all felt like one long chat event followed by a 3+ hour webinar that was actually an infomercial with a sample healing exercise tucked in... because; unless you buy into the $195 digital download program the help group disappears.  this, to me, gave the feeling that this business was not only preying on severely wounded souls but would be leaving them without support if they do not make the purchase. 

that preceding thought was only in my tiny brain.

it was MY thought... 

MINE = belonging to me...

and then i was asked what i thought...

and i was honest...

like i said; if you don't want to know what i think - don't ask me.

boy did i get the shit stuffing kicked out of me.  i never knew i was a liar, slanderer, name caller, cruel to the core, nobody has the right to earn a living by helping people kind of girl... 

i also had no idea that i expected everyone in the world to be "motherf***ingteresa!"

seriously?  wow...

the comandant my mother taught me that honesty was always the best policy... 

she also taught me that if i was honest i would not be punished...

i think perhaps mom got that punished part wrong...

then again;  maybe my mom was right...

maybe that asskicking was meant to teach me a lesson;


and maybe that lesson was this:  
that honesty, although still the best policy,  can sometimes entice malice from those who are not ready to look further than the surface...

those who wish for something to be true and good and simple even when it isn't...

and those who are not yet ready to hear someone else's honesty even when they have asked for it...