counting sheep and cutting beds...

in case you don't know who the Serta Counting Sheep are... sheeplink

the Serta Sheep are cute.  however, after sleeping trying to sleep on a Serta mattress for the past 8 months i know those little guys will NEVER lose their job...

i will spare you all the sleepless details and simply state one thing;

NEVER BUY A SERTA PERFECT SLEEPER MATTRESS!!

oh?!?

you don't believe me?!

ok...  here then are the sleepless details - don't say i didn't warn you...

i bought a king sized eurotop perfect sleeper comfort mattress during Serta's 90 Day Perfect Sleeper Comfort Challenge -  try it at home for 90 days and if FOR ANY REASON you don't like it you can bring it back NO QUESTIONS ASKED...

fourteen days later not only did i not like the mattress but my mr decided he was leaving. 

ms. petite, as you know, does not need a king sized bed - a crib would probably suffice in a pinch - so i called to ask where they wanted me to bring it when i returned it.

long story short, both the store and SERTA said i did not purchase the mattress during that promotion and after a few heated back and forths i was politely told i was; "shit out of luck."

well damn! 

i was now stuck with a mattress i didn't like in a size that threatened to swallow little old me...

two months later it actually thought it could... 

a very large sink hole formed under me...  since you cannot turn this mattress over, i flipped it end for end every few weeks...  meaning there is now a sink hole on both sides of the bed... 

and to answer your current thought bubble;  YES i AM overweight (deal with it) but 145 pound (shhhhhh) girl should not be swallowed whole by her mattress....


but wait!... because the mattress has a warranty longer than one year, back on the phone i went...

and i got nowhere...

so i tried email...

nothing...

so i finally went the route of snail mail and sent a copy to the store and the Serta Company.

did Serta contact me?  nope.

but, thankfully, the store did...

and they said if it was sinking they would replace it, BUT they would not deliver the replacement or dispose of the old one...

ok!  wonderful!  finally!!  wait! i'm stuck with an uncomfy mattress?  how does the rest of it work? 
do they come out and look at the old one to make sure i am not just weaving a story?  nope.

you take photographs and bring them to the store and and they either approve or disapprove...

here are those photographs; 

can you see the sinkhole?


no? can you see it now?
how about this time?  better?
(it may look like i am forcing the measuring tape, but i assure you i am not. the mattress is tufted)


my replacement was approved!

yay!

now comes the fun part... to get that replacement  i have to cut a 3" deep piece of the mattress out AND remove the "do not remove under penalty of law" tag (i am still waiting for the cops to show up - they must still be with Max and Roth) and bring it to the store as proof.   (sigh)

anyway, if you ever wondered what your mattress' interior might look like here you are:

marked for the cut;

 yep! it's a Serta;
 the first cut; *crocodile tears - such a waste*
 mattress guts coming out;
 what it looks like under there;
 what it looks like gone (ooh springy);

but wait!  regarding those tears and wasting things - necessity is the mother of invention and i still needed a place to sleep until i can find somebody to help me pick up the replacement right?

well, brilliance happens!

i found an old foam chair pad, carved it to fit the hole in the mattress i have to dispose of myself, wrapped it with batting, sewed it in place and flipped the mattress end for end - again...



 can you tell?

no?

would you like to buy it?   i promise to place fabric over the chair foam so it's prettier....

your answer is still no?

well then, plan on sleeping on it when next you come for a visit.  ;)

Happy Sheep Counting!!! 

ps; yes, that IS Henry  ;)   










  

free parking

i went shopping today... got nothing but a vanity plate for my jeep and a few bottles of whine wine...

which i would suppose isn't all bad...

anyway,  i strolled out into the parking lot and saw a woman trying to back into a space that her vehicle was really too big for.  but with a few back and forth tries she managed it...

ah but could she open her door and get out?

nope.

but she did try...

succeeding only in wedging her car door open against the drivers door of the car she parked next to.

i couldn't help it, i had to comment;  "a little tight?"  i asked.

"yes" she laughed; "i got into the space and now i can't get out of my car and...."  

"your door is wedged open?"  i laughed...

 "yes, and i can't get it unstuck to shut it...." and she laughed more.

"looks like it." i laughed;  "need help?"

"yes, please!"

so i pushed on the door as she pulled and together we got it to come free. 

but before she closed her door completely she said with a laugh; "good thing i don't know whose car this is huh?!?" 

"oh but you do."  i said; "it's mine."

she laughed and laughed and laughed and then shut her door.

after which i went around to the passenger side of my car, crawled over to the drivers side and saluted her as i started my engine.

yeah.  sometimes you just gotta make em squirm a little...





little boys and butterflies

my tiny tornadoes and i went to see a butterfly exhibit...

how much fun is it to go from a foot of snow to a tropical room filled with butterflies from around the world?

butterflies were free roaming and everywhere you looked.  some even landed on us.
some were gorgeous on the outside and some appeared ho hum until they spread their wings to reveal unbelievable iridescent colors...  

i pointed out this little beauty to the tiniest tornado because i thought it looked like it was wearing a super hero logo

he was enamored...

as we stood there looking at it pondering what it's powers might be a photographer with a serious camera stopped beside us...

i know she was a photographer because the lens on her camera was at least two feet long and she spent a lot of time adjusting it to get it just right...

as she was adjusting it my four year old tiny tornado saw it as an intrusion...  he looked at her lens and then looked at her and then politely said;  "excuse me.  i am looking at this butterfly right now."

she didn't flinch.  she didn't acknowledge. she just kept adjusting her lens... and we continued looking at the butterfly...

or so i thought...

because in that second between her placing her finger on the button and the noise of the shutter snapping open his little hand went up over her big fat lens and his once polite little voice said; 

"EXCUSE ME!!  I SAID I WAS LOOKING AT THIS BUTTERFLY RIGHT NOW!"


gotta love little boys... 


and me?  well i have this mental image of a prize winning photo hanging on a wall titled;  Butterfly Between Tiny Fingers. and when it shows up i am going to demand royalty fees.  because, my friends, that's how i roll...