listen to my heart...

well. 

i did it again.

opened my mouth and not only stuck my foot in but swallowed my entire being...

or maybe my entire being was shoved down my throat...

i don't know any more...

my lines have become very blurry...

truths are coming back wrapped in so much deception that even i now question what i know....

but i thought i was talking about how i felt about something very important to me...

and i thought i was being heard.

until the a voice came back on the defensive and then went on to say something meant to cut deep enough to shut me up.

evidently what i was doing was offering unwanted advice in the form of something that did not want to be heard...

and maybe i was....
 
like i said my lines were blurry...

and those ugly truths sure do look a lot better once they've been formed into something they never were and wrapped up with a big bright bow....

"see" the voice said; "this is why i left you... because we can't talk..."

i felt bad. 

i felt guilty.

i apologized... 

and then later i stood in the shower with tears running down my face wondering why it is always wrong for me to share how i feel.

or why i always have to feel guilty about something i did not do...  

and i realized something;

he did not leave me because we could not talk... 

he left me because he could never hear - or understand - my heart...




6 comments:

  1. Hey You =/ I'm sorry you're here, but stand with you x

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  2. "he did not leave me because we could not talk... he left me because he could never hear - or understand - my heart..." Truer words were never spoken, Annie! I find my heart beating in rhythm with yours. xo

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  3. Dump his sorry ass from your world, Annie. You're worth so very much more.

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  4. The world is full of people who can only exist by making everything your fault. Everything is NOT your fault!

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  5. Wishing you a good friend who can help you get through this!

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  6. Hugs Eolist. Giant bear hugs with lots of love.

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