counting sheep and cutting beds...

in case you don't know who the Serta Counting Sheep are... sheeplink

the Serta Sheep are cute.  however, after sleeping trying to sleep on a Serta mattress for the past 8 months i know those little guys will NEVER lose their job...

i will spare you all the sleepless details and simply state one thing;



you don't believe me?!

ok...  here then are the sleepless details - don't say i didn't warn you...

i bought a king sized eurotop perfect sleeper comfort mattress during Serta's 90 Day Perfect Sleeper Comfort Challenge -  try it at home for 90 days and if FOR ANY REASON you don't like it you can bring it back NO QUESTIONS ASKED...

fourteen days later not only did i not like the mattress but my mr decided he was leaving. 

ms. petite, as you know, does not need a king sized bed - a crib would probably suffice in a pinch - so i called to ask where they wanted me to bring it when i returned it.

long story short, both the store and SERTA said i did not purchase the mattress during that promotion and after a few heated back and forths i was politely told i was; "shit out of luck."

well damn! 

i was now stuck with a mattress i didn't like in a size that threatened to swallow little old me...

two months later it actually thought it could... 

a very large sink hole formed under me...  since you cannot turn this mattress over, i flipped it end for end every few weeks...  meaning there is now a sink hole on both sides of the bed... 

and to answer your current thought bubble;  YES i AM overweight (deal with it) but 145 pound (shhhhhh) girl should not be swallowed whole by her mattress....

but wait!... because the mattress has a warranty longer than one year, back on the phone i went...

and i got nowhere...

so i tried email...


so i finally went the route of snail mail and sent a copy to the store and the Serta Company.

did Serta contact me?  nope.

but, thankfully, the store did...

and they said if it was sinking they would replace it, BUT they would not deliver the replacement or dispose of the old one...

ok!  wonderful!  finally!!  wait! i'm stuck with an uncomfy mattress?  how does the rest of it work? 
do they come out and look at the old one to make sure i am not just weaving a story?  nope.

you take photographs and bring them to the store and and they either approve or disapprove...

here are those photographs; 

can you see the sinkhole?

no? can you see it now?
how about this time?  better?
(it may look like i am forcing the measuring tape, but i assure you i am not. the mattress is tufted)

my replacement was approved!


now comes the fun part... to get that replacement  i have to cut a 3" deep piece of the mattress out AND remove the "do not remove under penalty of law" tag (i am still waiting for the cops to show up - they must still be with Max and Roth) and bring it to the store as proof.   (sigh)

anyway, if you ever wondered what your mattress' interior might look like here you are:

marked for the cut;

 yep! it's a Serta;
 the first cut; *crocodile tears - such a waste*
 mattress guts coming out;
 what it looks like under there;
 what it looks like gone (ooh springy);

but wait!  regarding those tears and wasting things - necessity is the mother of invention and i still needed a place to sleep until i can find somebody to help me pick up the replacement right?

well, brilliance happens!

i found an old foam chair pad, carved it to fit the hole in the mattress i have to dispose of myself, wrapped it with batting, sewed it in place and flipped the mattress end for end - again...

 can you tell?


would you like to buy it?   i promise to place fabric over the chair foam so it's prettier....

your answer is still no?

well then, plan on sleeping on it when next you come for a visit.  ;)

Happy Sheep Counting!!! 

ps; yes, that IS Henry  ;)   



  1. Aw poor you. There's no need - and more importantly no excuse - for crap service. It makes my blood boil. Once treated this way I will never NEVER deal with a company again.

    Hope the replacement does the trick. How shamefull of them to refuse to return and replace it for you. Just a little effort could have made a complaint against them into an advertisement instead. Arseholes like that don't deserve to make profit!

    Sleep well.

    1. Anonymous4/23/2013

      Thank you Alistair, I agree.

      sadly, i did threaten not keeping quiet about any of this - which i think is why the store contacted me. Serta evidently doesn't give a $h!t.

  2. Good grief, what a shitty experience all round. And CUTTING A MATTRESS UP?! Words fail me. Tho you only need a tiny corner to sleep in; I blame Henry. Roth x

  3. I say I drive over some weekend, help you load the Serta on top of Old Blue, and then, (after a few glasses of wine,) we go shove it off some cliff. We may end up on the Group W bench, but it would be worth it! (I could even bring my Henry along to meet yours.)

  4. I am not sure why customer service even exists anymore....its a joke! I'm sorry for the crap you have had to go through over a mattress!!!

    Here's to the next one being more comfortable!