if it weren't for bad luck...


I went shopping yesterday and found a  24" TV that  after all the rebates offered would have been a steal of a deal.

I debated for a minute before I thought; heck it’s Christmas, why not buy it and upgrade the one in the spare room for my tiny tornadoes. 

But, as my luck goes, they didn't have any in stock.

But wait!  I can have the display model!

Do I get a discount?  I ask.

Unfortunately, no.  But it’s only been on display since yesterday and it comes with the box and the warranty....

No discount.? Well that stinks…

Yeah it does stink. I agree,  especially because almost every other store in this chain offers at least 10% off the display models, but they won’t let us do that here…

Hmmm….  Well. If I don’t buy it now, I won’t buy it at all and it is Christmas and it’s a fabulous deal… Okay, I'll take the display. What the hell.  It's warrantied right?

Right! he answers again though it wasn't really a question;  And we still have the box.  Let me get the wrench to get it down for you.

That should have been my cue to run….

30 minutes later the clerk and two other accomplices are still trying to remove the TV from the shelf.   It seems one of the screws used to hold it there will not budge...

So, instead of seeing the neon sign saying WALK AWAY...  I try to help.

And damn if the screw doesn’t finally it come loose so they can commence removing it.

He chooses this moment, near on 45 minutes later, - of course - to tell me that  they mount the display models to the shelves by drilling holes in their bases.

Wait.  So the base will have holes in it?

Yes.  But not too many… 

Um... so not only do I not get a display discount, I don’t get a damage discount either?

Right. he says as they triumphantly pull the TV off the shelf; would you not think that offering display and damaged discounts would be store policy across the board?.

Well yes actually,  I would. And, I hate to tell you this late in the game because I don’t want you to hit me with that wrench, but if it’s damaged badly I won’t be taking it home with me.

Are you serious lady? He says, seriously hoping I am being sarcastic.

And then we both look at the base of the television for the first time.

And gee, it’s not only full of holes, but its full of holes that appear to have been drilled by someone who never handled a drill in their life.  They aren’t  holes as much as chewed caverns with with drill skip marks all around them AND the base itself is severely cracked around several of those caverns from tightening it onto the shelf…

So again, i inquire about a discount and again he says no…

So that means you want me to pay you full price for something that sits on a base that not only looks like it's been through a mine field, but may eventually crack in half?

Um… yes actually. It’s policy. But look! (pointing to the base with the wrench as if he were the spokes model for this brand of TV) all of the damage is in the back  so you won‘t really see it. (after which he twirls the wrench like a revolver) and you can always purchase a wall mount kit.  Besides lady, my wrists are killing me from trying to unscrew it, that has to count for something right?  (he puts the TV in my cart and starts impatiently smacking the wrench against his palm)

(I start to think he is contemplating using that wrench as a weapon and find myself beginning to feel guilty about even thinking about leaving the TV there after all the effort they spent getting it off the shelf for me… and his wrists… the poor guy… and… HEY! wait a minute! I am being manipulated into doing something I don‘t want to do.  (yes angels did suddenly sing!) Why should I be manipulated into paying full price for a broken TV?)

Ok....  No. I don’t want a broken television base that I can’t trust. 

What?! Seriously?

Yes. Seriously.  You can put it back on the shelf and sell it to the next schmuck who comes along - but if I were you I wouldn’t screw it down this time.

Wow.  I can’t believe you are going to make me put it back; he says; wringing his hands around the wrench;  I guess that’s your choice… but…

...but I wouldn’t turn my back to walk away if I don’t want to be wearing a wrench as a head ornament right?

He is taken aback because I can read his mind…

No worries pal, you can throw it as hard as you want to.   I probably would if I were you....  but, then again you also have to admit that if you were me, you wouldn’t take that TV set home either…

True enough he says, pulling the TV back out of my cart.

And I turned my back and walked away seriously hoping his aim was off.…

but the story doesn't end there.... oh no...

Disappointed, I decide to buy egg nog as a Christmas treat instead.  Not the cheap stuff mind you, but the stuff I never buy because it’s way too expensive.  And not the little container because if I am splurging I may as well get exactly what I want right? 


since karma really should have been on my side in this one, my assumption is that the clerk made a wish on that wrench instead of throwing it at me, because by the time I got home half of my wonderfully expensive egg nog had not only dispensed from the container but had leaked out of the plastic bag and onto the back seat of my car.... 

….you're a foul one, Mister Grinch, you're a nasty wasty skunk.  your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk….

Mister Grinch, the three words that describe this are as follows, and I quote;





  1. GAAAAACK! All that power surge of standing up for yourself suddenly sputters out... all over the back seat of your car. We were definitely separated at birth, Annie... that's the only logical explanation.

    1. Anonymous12/23/2012

      yes sister, that we were! {{hugs}}

  2. What a bugger of a day! Sorry but glad it wisnae me it happened to.

    Just dropping you a wee note to say have a great Christmas and a very happy New Year. I hope it brings all you wish and all you deserve.

    Awrra best fae bonnie Scotland!

  3. Ha! Proud of you! They'd never have tried to pull that shit with a guy. But eggnog on the back seat? ICK! HO-HO-HEUGH!

  4. I am beginning to think that you would be hilarious to hang out with all the time. Where's my invite???

    Seriously though, good for you for refusing that t.v....I would have been the sucker paying them for a piece of crap. Yup!