Eolist's Law

it's that time of year again

when my cable bundle price goes up...

even though i was assured via multiple english as a second language graduates my bundle price wouldn't expire until september 2013, this months bill was far higher than last months.

and i had an HDDVR box that i rarely use...
(i must be one of the few that don't find HD wonderful - i want movies to look like movies not reality)

so i unhook said box, haul it to the local cable company office and ask to trade it out for the freebie box...

ten minutes into the switch the sweetheart behind the counter looks at me and says;  I am trying very hard not to swear and/or smash something because this computer keeps telling me you are already at your limit of add on boxes, which evidently is ZERO because it will not let me add this one to your account...

no problem.  i reply;  i'm used to that.  it would be because it's my account and/or simply because it's me standing here.  nothing is ever easy for me.  you know that murphy's law thing? it was invented specifically with me in mind...

she calls someone else over and eventually they just wipe my account clean and start from square one.  job done.  i am presented with a new (old) box and told that my current promotion will now expire in february 2013...

as i am standing there thinking; damn.... i just got entirely rebooted and i expire in two months?  this too is the story of my life... she says; after you have set this box up at home you will have to call the 800 number on the back and have them "Zap" it to life for you.  remember to do that because it won't work until you do.

i thank her and go on my less than merry way...  job done.

i am half way home before i realize i was not given a remote to go with the box.  i thought about letting that one go, but halfway into that nano-second, i realized that meant i would actually have to physically move from the sofa to change the channel and reality said that was not going to happen.  damn it!  back to the cable office i went to retrieve said remote.

job done.


safely back at home i hook up the new (old) box and call the number on the back.  of course the auto response just keeps telling me she can't understand my response - they must only give you twenty tries because after that i got a real person.  (must remember this for next time)

hello this is susan.  i can help you set up your new cable box.  first; is your box connected?


is it on?


great! i am now going to send a signal to it.  tell me when it turns off.



tell me when it turns off.



remember to tell me when it turns off.

i know.  and i will. but it's not turning off.

hmmm...  okay, i am going to "zap" it again. tell me when it turns off.

and;  ZAP!! BZZZZ.. CLICK... off it goes...

but sparks and smoke are simultaneously spraying out of it.

um... i don't think i sparks should be coming out of it.


i already did. 

er... um... i guess i shouldn't have said it that way.  i apologize... that has never happened to me before... um... is everything else ok?

i'm giggling too hard at her horror at swearing to respond with anything other than a laughter infused yes.

she apologizes again and sets up an appointment to send a technician out with another box which she tells me HE  will set up for me.

bless her heart,  i laughed all weekend about her response and the horror it caused her...  *snigger*

yesterday the cable guy shows up with a new box, places his electronic equipment and phone on the floor and proceeds to connect it....

and plug it in.

and the box starts running through a number sequence...

over and over and over...

well that's odd, he says; in the ten years i have worked for this company, i have never ever seen a box run that sequence before.  i have no idea what it's doing but i'm going to say this box is bad too...  

another new box comes into the house...

and voila! this one works.

but his equipment box has suddenly mysteriously shut off and won't turn back on.

so he goes for his phone.

that's odd.  my phone won't work.

no.  we don't get phone reception inside the house.  nobody does. 

no. it's not that.  its.. its just not on...  my phone just shut off for no reason. and it won't turn back on... 

um.... lady...  

i really think it's not the equipment.  


well i keep telling people we have ghosts...

that is so not funny.   he says.

(i wasn't trying to be funny i think to myself.  just be glad you aren't in my basement workroom where they tend to reside...)

his phone finally did turn on and function.  his equipment however, did not.

and me... i've been giggling about it ever since. 

if you can't beat it, you may as well laugh about it right?

and that's Murphy's  Eolist's Law



  1. You giggle too much, set fire to the bastards!

    1. Anonymous12/18/2012


      i mean; can i borrow some matches?

  2. Anonymous12/19/2012

    I would say only you, but I've been known to have issues. As well as ghosts. I'm not kidding.

    1. Anonymous12/19/2012

      so glad to know i am not the only one.

      and that i am not crazy...

      i think the cable guy was seriously unnerved.

      "Joshua's Law?!"

  3. Hahahaha! Oh boy...it really does sound like you have ghosts! What bad luck, but makes for a GREAT story!