no matter how much i may have considered the "D" word or thought it might be the best thing when things were bad.
i was wrong.
it feels different when it slaps you in the face for real.
whether it makes me an idiot or not, i am still willing to do whatever it takes to make things work just like i always have been.
but he believes he has already exhausted all possibilities.
would i be better off without him? probably.
do i want to be without him all things considered? no.
and we aren't even going to question the "L" word because i always have and i always will.
and so will our children.
and their children.
personally i think a lifetime and a family who loves you fully and completely no matter what is a hell of a thing to throw away because you think you might be happier elsewhere.
which is probably why at the moment i think he is a selfish man who wants what he wants and there will be no discussion involving any alternative choices.