joy can only start...

if you know me at all, you understand what kind of family i live in...

a family wherein love is not a big enough word... 

and neither most times is dysfunctional.  

Thanksgiving holds many memories for me;

i was born via emergency cesarian section on Thanksgiving day - in contrast to the story that has me born in a ditch during a tornado, but perhaps it felt like that to my mom, my dad, and all of her doctors and nurses who instead of a turkey and a feast were presented with a screaming 5 pound 2ounce raw female.  a fact that i am still reminded of all these years later. 

Thanksgiving Day, my 22nd birthday, was also the last time i was with my dad as a normal healthy man - if you can indeed call a man who had been through hell and back trying to survive two very long years of barbaric cancer treatments healthy. its a long sad story that no man, woman or child should ever have to endure, but the short version is that he went into seizures after i left that evening and never fully recovered.

i was reminded this morning while swearing at the boneless turkey breast that fell apart before i could put it in the roaster that my holiday seasons are always bittersweet at best because i miss those parts of myself and my family that i can no longer touch... 

and that i must remember to cling to all those parts of myself and my family that i can touch...

because i have been blessed with so much to be thankful for...

and joy can only start within a thankful heart.... 
 
 





4 comments:

  1. Well said. There is always something to be thankful for.

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  2. Thanks. Reminds me of what is important.

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  3. So very well said. I feel so much the same sometimes, when I am missing my childhood, my family and those things 'I can no longer touch'.

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  4. I'm a little late for Thanksgiving dinner, but it's never too late to read this! Well said, Ms. Petite!

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