the mantis on the screen

so yesterday while i was playing cards with the mr there was a praying mantis on the screen door…

i hate praying mantis! 

there is something bone chillingly wrong with these misshapen alien life forms

and this one was not welcome on my screen checking out my card game…

shivering i went to the screen and tried to flick him off but nooooooo





the creepy little alien just looked me in the eye with defiance and stood it’s ground…

so i flicked the screen harder…

and it cocked it’s much too bug for its own good head and laughed right out loud…

so the mr, who believes he is far stronger and was put on the earth to protect his little lass from alien life forms, got up from his chair and flicked the screen…

the alien did budge,  it just reared it’s head back and rubbed it’s jagged hands together as if readying a fork and knife for dinner.

the mr flicked harder… and harder… and then resorted to opening the screen - while i stood on my chair screaming like a little girl - and then fast slamming it shut…

it worked!! 

the creepy little alien launched and was gone.  job done.  card game resumed.

but not for long…

BAMN!  landing hard against the screen the mantis was back.  it hung there daring not only the mr, but me to open the door to shoo it away…

COME ON PINKSKIN! OPEN THE DOOR! I DARE YOU!

and when neither of us bothered it resorted to taunting me by crawling about the outside of the screen looking for an opening that it could squeeze through, periodically stopping to leer in and drool while sharpening its knife and fork… 

so there i sat poised to leap, shivering and vowing not to open the screen door until mid January.

a suddenly a thought occurred to me

a menacing thought…

black widows and sisters of a feather and all that jazz…

maybe it wasn’t me this creepy green alien was taunting after all… 

maybe it was my mr…

and with an evil - and ever hopeful - grin i said;

“huh,  maybe its a female.”

5 comments:

  1. On the other side of a screen is where those bastards belong. Had one get onto my arm on time and I nearly lost bladder function.

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  2. glad its not just me... these things are second only to walking sticks. *shudder* which reminds me of another story which i shall have to post next...

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  3. Once I had a curious looking seed pod in my classroom... it turned out to be a praying mantis baby factory! The sight of all those little mantises scurrying out still gives me nightmares!

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  4. Eeeeek!

    Squish it! SQUISH IT!!

    Yours manfully, Indigo

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  5. i see that i am in good company. thank you!

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