I went for a massage this week.
I disrobed and crawled onto the warm table face down, pulled the sheet over my back side and wriggled into a comfort zone.
But the comfort zone quick lost its luster and I wriggled into another position.
And then another.
And yet another.
Laying there unable to find a comfortable position I thought about my childhood. In particular the long rides home on an overcrowded school bus, wishing that god had given us removable arms. Suddenly i thought the same thing about my breasts and giggled out loud; enter the massage therapist who asked what had amused me.
“I was just thinking how nice it would be to be able to take off my boobs for a while.”
[she oils her hands]
Oh, I know what you mean. sometimes they are so uncomfortable!
“exactly! in the way at the worst of times.”
[she starts my massage]
I don’t know about you, but mine never seem to fit properly…
It would be nice to find a pair that did…
I’d like, just once, to have a pair that were perfect.
[if wishes were horses]
I’m stuck with an oversized utilitarian pair that I hate…
[yep, me too]
What I really want is something cute and sexy…
[wouldn't that be nice?]
Maybe something sleek, black, and extremely pointy…
[okay wait. extremely pointy?]
That I could slip into and out of in a flash and no matter what the weather my feet would never get wet…
[designer boobs of the madonna sort!? i'll pass]
Can you see me in something like that? I’d probably parade around in them like a runway model…
[oh yeah, I would too!]
Instead I’ll just have to keep the ones I have and be happy with them… sad tale of woe…
and just as I am about to remind her that surgery is always an option she adds;
But on the bright side summer is coming and I can put my boots away and just go barefoot!