wherever you go...

yesterday i was at lunch.

and though the waitress attending to me wasn't exceptional - she was simply doing her job - she was friendly, courteous, and attentive.

she wore a necklace that was quite simple, a silver chain with a tiny pendant over which lay an small open heart, but somehow it caught the light in such a way that it appeared to beam.

maybe there were crystals in it, i thought, and took a closer look as she filled my coffee cup but nope. no crystals.

just silver.

but somehow not just silver.

this simple piece had caught not only my eye, but my complete attention.

your necklace is quite stunning i finally said

thank you. she commented as her fingers tread down the chain and gripped the tiny pendant. "this peice is a tiny handprint, i got it from my daughter - well, my husband - the day she was born..." her fingers trailed to the other peice. the open heart. "and this is from my mother... you can't see it with your naked eye but it's got an inscription that says; 'where ever you go you take my heart with you.'"

there was a short pause and her eyes misted over as she held both pieces together in her hand. "thank you so much for asking. i loved my mother and i can only hope that my daughter loves me half as much."

of that, i have no doubt.


this morning was the doctor appointment i always sarcastically reference as the highlight of my year.

i should be thankful it's only once a year because as a young woman it was the "highlight" of my month - and sometimes of my week.

(even more proof that some things actually do get better with age.)

so there i am in the exam room and the nurse has me stand on the scale - holy shit! i weigh how much!? and now you want to take my blood pressure?!?

can i recover from that last shock first?

of course the answer is always no.

and they wonder why my blood pressure is high...

before she left she handed me a sheet and instructed me to remove all my clothes. after which, i was to sit on the end of the exam table, cover myself with it, and wait for the doctor.

so i removed my clothes and attempted to unfold the sheet.

but the damn thing already was unfolded!

it was only a half sheet!

and not only was it a half sheet but whomever thought of this dim-brained idea (to save money on laundering no doubt) was also dim-brained enough to cut it in half length wise.

so i sat naked on the edge of the exam table wondering just how they expected an ample woman to to cover herself with a ribbon that kept sliding off no matter how she maneuvered it.

what were they thinking?

obviously they weren't.

i had to retrieve the ribbon twice from the floor before i managed to cover myself by clutching it to my chest with my right hand.


as long as i didn't move.

so i sat very still.

hardly breathing.

and i waited for the doctor.

who finally entered.

and being the polite man he is, he greeted me with a wonderful hello.

and then he extended his left hand for the obligatory hand shake.

and i, being the polite woman - okay dim-brained sheet cutter - that i am, extended my right hand.

and off the ribbon slipped.

right down on to the floor.

pronunciation: \in - bare - ass\
function: verb
used in sentence: my ribbon fell off leaving me sitting embarrass.

awards and thank yous

This award was bestowed upon me by iDifficult "for the fine piece of writing that is Trading Cards".

thank you kind sir, it's very pretty. even gothic. makes me yearn for a bottom that looks good in lace. alas i've yet to find one willing to try it on...

*ms petite curtsies*

in order to keep this award i there is a "must" - as in, i "must" pass it along.

sort of like love.

so to to those of you who bring smiles to my life i shall pass this award on [or back] to you with sincere thanks;

to Robbie, whose thought bubbles make me smile

iDifficult who is far better for having left all rational thought on the endangered list

IndigoWrath the best master spy i know

and CatLadyLarew" whose brain clutter has caught my attention

do what you will with the award, but know this; my life is richer for having crossed your path.