Way To Go Sandman!

i don't sleep well. i sleep so badly in fact that i can tell you the exact day it was that i last slept an entire night - meaning 7 hours without waking - generally if i sleep two quality filled hours at one time i congratulate the Sandman for fear he will skip me the next time round if i don't.

but last night something quite odd happened [despite my saying screw the earplugs and the window shade and that frelling mouthpiece designed to stop me from chewing my own teeth to bits. hell, last night i even said skipped the toothbrush routine!] i slept a four hour stretch! which was followed by a three hour stretch. quite odd indeed.

so as i am standing there brushing my teeth grinning at that sad little mouthpiece in the drawer it really hits me; i slept. i slept more than two hours! more than two hours in two consecutive spaces!! in the same night!!! god bless the sandman for finding me and remembering which sand to use!

i am cheering him on when another thought strikes me quite hard; this sleep thing - it wasn't a fluke

IT WAS A MIRACLE!

and miracles, they say, are precursors to life changing events. but me? i have a habit of not listening to the wisdom of miracles - even when they have allowed me to defy death.

this morning i decided i really do need to listen.

i really do need to change things.
even if they are only tiny things at first.
i must learn to walk before i can run yes?

so today:
i didn't make the bed. something i've done every single day baring illness since 1960!
i made cappuccino and had it with cookies for breakfast.
i smiled as i stepped over the shit left here there and everywhere by the other guy.
i ignored all the; 'while i'm out having fun would you do me a favor and...' messages.
i didn't answer the phone if it was someone i didn't want to talk to.
i took myself out of the house and drove the clean car down the dirt roads.
i bought myself chocolate and ate every bit of it without remorse. i even licked the crumbs out of the wrapper.
god bless Lindt!
and i even deposited money into a savings account only i can touch.

i have no idea if the sleep will continue, but i do hope that the small changes i make will lead to bigger, and more complex, changes.

i can't be sure but i think i heard the Sandman congratulating me this time round.

3 comments:

  1. Yep, all of these new things will lead to happiness and better sleep!

    Tho I'm wondering - might the retainer be part of the sleep issue?

    Huuge congrats on the sleeeeeep! Indigo

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  2. why thank you Indigo. *bows with the sandman*

    oddly enough the retainer is "supposed" to help with sleep issues *roll eyes* - or maybe it's just supposed to help me keep my teeth?

    oh, topping off my evening i will not have made dinner which means it will not be on the table at the appropriate time.

    what darling? why yes as a matter of fact it IS all about me! deal with it!

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  3. What you really need to sleep is to feel well loved, so I gave you a little present over at How to Become a Cat Lady to make you feel more loved.

    Sweet Dreams!

    ReplyDelete