cool car! i wanit!

oh yeah! i need it! gotta be just my size too!

oooh.... i wonder if there's a tiny batcopter to go along with it?

"holy turbo trickster batman! i've dropped the penny!"

warped sense of humor

yeah i know. i hear it all the time.
"god you have a warped sense of humor!"

but hey, when people do things that warrant a giggle i just can't help myself.

personally i don't think my sense of humor is any more warped than my thinking and for that i shall thank my relatives. god bless 'em all for creating in me the necessity to find humor and solace in the smallest of things, without that ability i'd surely be living in a padded and/or barred cell.

instead i share a great big empty house with a man who seems forever to be on vacation and ghosts that i keep as confused and amused as they keep me.

getting back to my warped sense of humor - the weatherman wishes.

"look at me baby. i'm so on fire it's glowing!!"

somebody was fired today, i'm sure of it.

you gotta love small town grocery stores and the folks that
work there or -after the first view of this sign by the manager - do not work there.

it would appear that they are selling ten pound bags of pot for the low low price of $2.49 - which i'd bet is a steal. but you'd have to ask somebody in the community who doesn't grow their own.

my sister-in-law reminded everybody that our annual Coast Guard Festival starts today and it might be a good idea to stock up on supplies right there at Orchard Market.

i think she's right, it could certainly make the tourists and the traffic jams they create far more enjoyable.

if nothing else i'd bet it beefs up their business this week!

me, i wonder if that's what's in the Laker's pipe?

and might that be why he's smilin' 24/7 ??

of candy canes and granddaughters

i had left over candy canes in a cup on the counter.

my granddaughter saw them when she and i were loading the dishwasher.

"grama, can i have a candy cane?" she asked.

my first thought was to wonder if she'd ever had one or knew how to go about eating it.
my second thought was that she'd surely slice her mouth on it if i gave it to her.

so i, being the bad grama that i am, said; "i'm not really sure you should have a candy cane sweetheart."

then she looked at me with huge sad oliver twist asking for more eyes and said in a tiny crackling voice; "but maybe i could just hold one..."

poor little angel.

i deterred her with an offer of an oreo sticks with frosting packet. she seemed happy enough, though surely she was scared far deeper than any slice to her tongue the cane could have ever inflicted.

i am forever the wicked grama of the west

that's my brother

the neighborhood cats are constantly marking territory.

mistakenly they assume my slider door is theirs.

my grandchildren are here happily playing together when my just learned to crawl grandson performs an amazing feet. he crawls over to the slider, makes his way up the glass and leans there against it triumphantly surveying the great outdoors.

and me? well, i notice that there on the outside of the glass is a nice thick line of cat spray.

"go'damn it all! is that cat piss on my slider door again!?"

i'd said it before i thought. i shouldn't have sworn in front of two tiny angels - especially when the parents were present. i slapped my hand over my mouth in horror.

and my 3 year old granddaughter, gives me a 'what in the world is wrong with you?' look and quips back;

"no grama, (thats not cat piss) that's my brother."

apparition NOT exhaust

the second - and last time - i saw her was in early june several years ago.

my son was on the sofa after minor surgery. he'd come home from the hospital a few days before but had developed potentially dangerous complications which made constant supervision a necessity.

he'd been quietly asleep for a time and i'd finally gathered enough nerve to allow myself a bathroom break. the bathroom in our tiny house was literally four steps down the hall from the sofa but i knew once i turned in to it i would no longer be able to see him so i left the door open. at the very least i wanted to be able to hear him.

as fast and as silently as i could i went about my business, flushed and washed my hands. i'd not heard him stir but i was still un-nerved about leaving him alone so i grabbed the towel from the hook thinking i could dry my hands with him in my view.

i stepped out of the bathroom with the towel.

i turned toward him.

and there she was.

she was bent over him as if studying his frame, her hands hovered, palms down thumbs up, above him as if she were going to place one on his chest and one on his head.

i stopped.

i blinked.

i stood there thinking; 'get hold of yourself! you cannot possibly be seeing what you think you are!'

i closed my eyes.

i drew in a deep breath.

i let it out.

i opened my eyes.

she was still there!

i tried to blink her gone again, but she was still there.

this was not my imagination. this was real.

i wasn't certain what i was supposed to do but i was struck with a wave of fear that my son may be in danger, maybe not from her; but nevertheless i dropped the towel and took a bold step toward them.

she reacted as though she hadn't known i was there. suddenly startled, her hands drew quickly back and she turned toward me.

she looked straight at me with eyes that were not really there, her head cocked, for the longest time and then she looked back at him.

she mouthed something to him that i couldn't hear and then she vanished.

i hurried toward my son still telling myself i'd not just seen what i thought i had.

he stirred and looked at me puzzled.

"who's here?" he finally asked.

"nobody" i said.

but he wasn't convinced; "who were you talking to then?"

"i wasn't talking," i assured him. "nobody is here but you and me."

"if nobody is here then who was just talking to me?"

"i don't know."

"i know i heard her talking to me mom."

and with that i knew for certain she was not warm exhaust curling up into the cold air. i saw her. my son heard her. she was real.

i still have no idea why she was there. maybe she was simply a loving mother looking after him while i couldn't.

but that wouldn't explain why i felt a strange foreboding when i saw her would it?

then again, she wasn't there for me. if she had been i'd not have startled her and would probably have probably have heard whatever it was she said to my son.

he has no recollection of anything other than knowing she was there.

this means i will have ask these questions of her, if ever i see her again. which may explain why i haven't seen her again - some questions are best left unanswered.

related dribble:
apparition or exhaust?
i am not alone