conan the destroyer should have been drawn and quartered....


seriously!?!?! 

when you completely destroy something you claim to love with all your heart and soul...

and then walk away with your ears closed to the wailing and your eyes closed to what you have done, while simultaneously lying through your teeth about who is to blame...

you have no right at all to turn around expecting those who are still picking up the charred pieces of themselves to applaud you for building something brand new for yourself.


just sayin'** 

** edited because &!$# off! just isn't very pretty... 

odd little things that add up big...

or... leave no stone unturned:

after weeks of hemming and hawing, researching, reading reviews, questioning friends, tarot cards, 8 balls and flipping coins,  i finally decided which CHEAP laptop i was going to charge an arm, leg two fingers and a toe for on my credit card...



and i put said laptop in my cart online...

and before i checked out it asked;
'would you like to extend the service contract for this laptop for two years for $39.99?"  

well, since this is me and "annies" law can often apply, i clicked yes.

my cart was then re calculated and i proceeded to the check out where i was greeted with;
"one or more items in your cart is currently unavailable.  please delete the unavailable item(s) and proceed to the check out..."

it turned out they were no longer offering the extended service contract.  oh well, thought i, that's ok i am willing to take my chances and go without it...  trust the force annie...

i removed the extended warranty and noted that after it re-calculated my cart, it said all items were in stock and available to ship.  so once again, i proceeded to check out.

but again i was greeted with;
"we're sorry, one or more items in your cart is currently unavailable...."

so i remove the laptop which still, as i said, says; "IN STOCK AND AVAILABLE TO SHIP."

odd i think, so i decide to shop for it again...

and yes said laptop is still "IN STOCK AND AVAILABLE TO SHIP"  but now the price has risen by $100...

$100!?!?

no, i am NOT kidding...  am i willing to pay $100 more for it?  um....  no. 

oh well, maybe i really did need the arm, leg two fingers and a toe more than i needed a laptop for work... besides, i tell myself, i can always bring the work laptop home with me... it's just not meant to be.

a day or two went by before i got that email that says; "oops, you left something in your cart..."  even though you know darn right well you didn't... anyway, while i was muttering to myself about bots monitoring your every move i noticed a tiny picture of a "buy a  laptop get a case free" bundle at the bottom of the email and figure what the heck and clicked it just for toots and grins...

and checked to see if the laptop i wanted was part of the deal....

nope...

but wait! there's more!

i was presented with a better bundle; "buy a laptop, get a printer, two ink cartridges, a carrying case and a 8gb flash drive free." 

*CLICK*

hey! look! the laptop i wanted was available with this bundle for $40 more...

i know angels were singing because i not only got the laptop i wanted, i got a printer, two ink cartriges, a carrying case and an 8gb flash drive for less than the first original price on the laptop...

so WITH tax and handling fees it cost me a total of $4 more than just buying the laptop at it's original price had they not said it was unavailable.... 

to good to be true right?  trust me i checked;
is this laptop refurbished?  nope...
is anything else refurbished?  nope...
is this laptop still $100 more in price than when i first put it in my cart?  yep...
is this a joe schmo seller and not the store i am purchasing from? nope...

will this purchase make it to the finish line?

YES!  SCORE!

and they even shipped it to my door free!

but i think the monkeys were still celebrating for me when they sent it, because the flash drive and fabric case came this morning in a very big FED-EX truck...

and the computer and printer came this afternoon in a tiny car with my regular mail carrier... 

i checked today and the computer i bought is still available on it's own at the hiked price of $100 more...

meaning, i saved $96 plus shipping and handling AND i got a printer, ink, carrying case and a flash drive to boot...

i am blessed... 

however i am now afraid to open the boxes....



    

what i wish...



i have not believed in the big fat man with the long white beard since i found the presents "he" brought me stuffed under my parents bed weeks before the day...

these past two years have re-iterated with grave injustice just how much Santa truly does not exist – and not simply because there have been no gifts under my tree… 

life brings all of us thorns and ills and things that, without warning, knock us down and hold us there with hands around our throats…    

the lesson, i think, in all of this is that in any life, at any given moment in time, we are exactly where we are meant to be and there is always always ALWAYS something there to be thankful for...

even if it seems extremely small and insignificant...

"it only takes a tiny spark to get a fire going..."

and so; from me to you with a full and thankful heart;

I wish you health.  i wish you warmth.  i wish you love.  i wish you laughter. i wish you wonder.  i wish you blessings untold...

but most of all; i wish you a heart filled with all the wisdom the universe has to offer and the willingness to share it with your neighbor...

Merry Christmas and "God bless us, Every One." 

have a holly jolly christmas...

This is a re-posting - in case it looks oddly familiar - but it's the season so;
 
Merry Christmas!

when my son was a young teen he asked for a guitar.

and, being the cautious frugal parents that we were coupled with knowing that nothing ever lasted beyond a thought or two no matter how expensive it might have been at the start, we thought long and hard and came up with what we thought was a good solution.

if he really seriously wanted a guitar, he would save half of what it would cost on his own and we would add the rest. 

soon, contrary to what i thought would happen, he had saved half the money. 

the day came when he and his dad went to the music store, bought a shiny new black and white guitar and brought it home. 

and his mother, she of little faith, was humbled....

from the moment he picked it up he played like he'd had a guitar - and lessons - all his life.

and he has ever since.

bands and gigs have come and gone, but my son; Mr. Elusive has remained;

Let It Snow
I'll Be Home for Christmas
Holly Jolly Christmas
Greensleeves

christmas is over and new years celebrations have passed but i am still listening to christmas music....

and probably will be for the rest of the year....

 i love you son

placing blame where it belongs

after 21 years of living with my parents and 32 years of marriage it has been one year since i have been living alone for the first time in my life...

i thought to chronicle my journey here, but nobody wants to hear wailing and gnashing of teeth - if they did the stories of a glamorous hell would be far more popular than those of a pearly gated heaven...

besides, for the most part you - like 99.9% of all the people in my life - would have believed the life i live to be completely fabricated and/or twisted to make it appear something it is not...

that other 1% - which includes my children - who know me well realize that no matter what or who i am, have been, or am becoming the one thing i am not is a fabricator of lies...

i also did not want to complicate things for my children because they are the very best and most amazing thing that my life has been blessed with and i love them far more than i want to make my story known...

time will open the eyes of everyone else, because lies are lies are lies... and they will always catch up with you. 

for now that 1% who always saw things clearly are finally finding the strength to stand firm, speak out, draw boundary lines that cannot be crossed and placing the blame where it belongs...




and i am finally starting to feel life is changing for the better for myself, my children and my tiny tornadoes whom i love far more than myself....   

measured by the few

so i ran errands today and decided to look at some new shoes....

these are the shoes i wanted...


but they only had one pair that fit my tiny wide fred flintstone feet - and one of them was the display shoe. you can't tell it from this photo, but the other side of this shoe was gouged and scuffed so i reluctantly put it back and went on to the store across the street where i bought these utilitarian runners;


 um... no i do not run...

unless maybe there is a fire...

even then i'm not sure how fast i could go before i passed out...

the point is, as i was wandering to the check out i found some other stuff i couldn't live without - like a bag of chocolate - and i was trying to perch these things on the shoe box but they kept sliding off so i opened the box and put them inside with the shoes.  job done. nothing fell after that.

of course when i got to the check out i had to then take everything out of the shoe box and place it on the belt...and evidently it looked very suspicious because after the cashier rang up everything else she took the shoes out of the box.  then she shook the box.  after that she unlaced the shoes.  and shook them. and then she put her hand up inside the shoe and felt around. then she pulled the tongue back as far as it would go and looked inside the shoe...

i'm standing there knowing full well that she was just checking to see if i was trying to get anything out of the store without paying for it.

she finally rang up the shoes, tucked them neatly back in the box and sent them to the bagger.  then she looked at me innocently and said; "Oh don't mind me, I was just making sure both of your shoes were the same size."

"that's very nice of you." i said with a knowing voice; "so what size were the both of them?"

fifty shades of red later she had to admit that she didn't know what size they were at all.
that i was "obviously" not attempting to steal anything..
and that next time she would have to be a bit more tactful.

(do you think??)

"you know," i said; "i think that most people in this world are honest - including myself - so how sad is it when we all have to be measured by those few who choose not to be?

by the way, they were both a size 6."